I'm Gonna Go Ahead and Blame Christmas...
Posted: Thursday, September 15, 2011
by Melissa Swenka
MeliSwenk
For my girlfriend feeling awful today. Why Christmas, you ask?
Today is my birthday, and My Baby feels awful because she can't even buy me a card. With schoolwork, she didn't even have time to make me a card or anything creative. What she doesn't understand is that I don't need cake, cards, or shiny-wrapped gifts. I'm a Who in Whoville on Christmas: my birthday's coming even without that...
Talk about the most epic birthday celebration EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR!
What does Jesus get on his birthday?
A tree. Well, technically, lots of trees. Lit up and usually blinking if that one bulb toward the end of the line isn't broken. Each of those trees has about a thousand pounds of ornaments on it. Most people don't even get a store-bought banner on their birthday. My Baby got a "banner" made in Publisher. Needless to say, Jesus gets the best decorations.
Presents. While these get dispersed among us "humans," Jesus gets to share in the joy we experience from opening them. Unless Mom buys (or makes) you one of those silly (and by that I mean UGLY) holiday sweaters. I think Jesus is taking his sense of humor a bit TOO far in that department. But Jesus gets all the credit for the doling of these presents, doesn't he? Such a good guy to give presents to everyone else on HIS birthday, right?
Worldwide recognition of His Special Day. Granted, with the advent of things like MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter, everyone can get worldwide recognition of their birthdays. But Jesus did it first, didn't he? Sent angels and everything to get the party started. He got frankencense, myrrh, and gold (according to The Three Kings of Orient). Not only that, he pissed off a king! Who else gets to do that on their birthday??? No one, that's who!
So, with a precedent like that? Who can win?? Who can have an awesome birthday, really, when Jesus gets all the good stuff?
Anyone else having a birthday today, or had a really bad birthday memory they'd like to share? If anything, just blame Jesus because He's got it so good!
(Note: Just in case this could offend anyone, I just want you all to know that I'm being totally facetious and sarcastic. I love Jesus. I'm a Christian and everything. God blessed me with a sense of humor, and I plan to share it with the world. Just another gift... And this one keeps on giving!)
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Jesus gets the sinners--we hope. Thanks for the read.And He makes them better, I hope. Thanks for commenting. :D
Wouldn't offend me because I see the humor and like that you shared your humor with us.Excellent! :D Glad you stopped by and had a laugh.
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